Meet Our Cat.

His name is Brawny.
See what happens when Justin doesn't let me dress up the dogs.

Happy Halloweiner!

Baseball Talk

Conversation between me and my husband while he is watching the World Series.

Me: Holy crap! You know what I just realized?

Justin: What?

Me: I have no idea how to take care of a baby. That's going to be a problem. How the heck are we going to have a kid one day if I don't know how to take care of a baby

Justin: What?

Me: BABIES! I've never taken care of one! At least not by myself. Hey maybe we should borrow someone's baby.

Justin: Uh ok...

Me: You know, to see if we can take care of one. That would be kind of awkward though - asking one of our friends "Hey can we borrow your baby? We wanna see if we can keep it alive before we have one of our own."

Justin: ...

Me: OR!! We can dress up Kashi as an ugly little baby and practice on him.

Justin: ...

Me: Are you listening to me?

Justin: Yeah dress up Kashi.

Me: The only problem is that he doesn't cry. All he does and hump and snort.

(Silence while I imagine us having a baby that humps and snorts. For some reason I also picture him wearing a rainbow sweat band. Cue distraction)

Me: No way! That guy's name is Pujols?

Justin: Yes.

Me: POO-holes?

Justin: Yes.

Me: Haha. Pujols.

Justin: ...

Me: Hey babe ... I dare you to put your finger in Kona's Pujols.

Justin: I JUST WANT TO WATCH THE GAME!

And that is why I should never be forced to watch baseball.

A picture of our snorty, humpy practice baby

Rock, Paper, Scissors ... Crab Claw

When Kona was a puppy, Justin taught him to drink water from the bath tub faucet and now that sucker refuses to drink out of a bowl. So now when he's thirsty he climbs into the tub and barks ... sometimes in the dark.
Yesterday we were watching TV when we would heard Kona's famous echoed bathtub bark.
Here's what went down after that.

Justin: Kona wants water.
Me: You do it.
Justin: No you do it.
Me: Fine ... rock, paper scissors!
Justin: Ok, ready... 1, 2, 3!

He does paper, I do rock.

Justin: Again, 1, 2...

Oh eff. I panic.

My head says scissors but for some reason my hand decided to stay with rock. And it results in this:



Justin: WTF is that?!!

Me: CRAB CLAW!

Justin: What the hell is a crab claw?

Me: It beats rock and scissors...paper too.

Justin: You're such a cheater!

Me: You've never heard of Crab Claw?

Justin: Just go.

In an effort to prove that I was right, I decided to go onto Google and find a picture of a crab crushing a rock (and subsequently, a piece of paper and a pair of scissors)
I typed in "Crab smashing rock"

And Google came up with this...


Apparently crabs like to smoke crack. And get it on. And make little crack babies. And THAT, ladies and gentleman, is how stoned crabs are created.

P.S. I still win.

And now ... squoils!

It seems a little anti-climactic for me to come back on here and start writing about random things after experiencing such an incredibly amazing and euphorically life-altering week.

So instead I present to you .... BABY SQUOIL!




(If you didn't think that was the most ridiculously awesome thing you've ever seen, take a little break, get over the initial shock and watch it again. If you STILL don't get it, well then quite frankly, I'm not sure why we're even friends.)

My World is Filled With Happy